CREWS VARNER

Design Psychoanalyst

and Product Designer


Passionate about using design to improve people's lives. I believe human-centered design creates enjoyable experiences and fosters product loyalty.

CREWS VARNER

Design Psychoanalyst

and Product Designer


Passionate about using design to improve people's lives. I believe human-centered design creates enjoyable experiences and fosters product loyalty.

CREWS VARNER

Design Psychoanalyst

and Product Designer


Passionate about using design to improve people's lives. I believe human-centered design creates enjoyable experiences and fosters product loyalty.

CREWS VARNER

Design Psychoanalyst

and Product Designer


Passionate about using design to improve people's lives. I believe human-centered design creates enjoyable experiences and fosters product loyalty.

Jul 11, 2024

3min read

The Art of Disagreement

I've made a significant mistake this week. I logged onto Twitter. I know, I know. Who even uses Twitter these days? Spending just thirty minutes on that platform feels like it could drain 20% of your brain cells (I made up this statistic, but it seems plausible). However, I'm not here to bash Twitter today.

Something I've noticed over the years is the prevalence of argumentative behavior on social media. As you scroll through tweets, comments, and live-stream chats, you'll see that many people react aggressively to disagreements. On the other hand, the creative community often responds to criticism more constructively. Perhaps this is because artists are accustomed to critiques and understand that personal attacks are unproductive. This stark contrast made me wonder why disagreements carry such negative connotations in the first place.

Reflecting on my own life, I used to struggle with conflicts more than most. Growing up with anger issues, I found it hard to handle rejection or dissent without lashing out. As I've matured, I've learned to view disagreements as potentially positive. I've also realized that many people struggle with ego, just as I did. Reading Ryan Holiday's "Ego is the Enemy" has been eye-opening. He beautifully explains how our culture fuels self-importance:

"Now more than ever, our culture fans the flames of ego. It’s never been easier to talk, to puff ourselves up. We can brag about our goals to millions of fans and followers—things only rock stars and cult leaders used to have. We can follow and interact with our idols on Twitter, read books and sites, and watch TED Talks, drinking from a fire hose of inspiration and validation like never before."

I believe this contributes to why disagreements are often seen negatively. We tie our thoughts and feelings to our identities. In American politics, for example, there's a sense of tribalism and self-identity. Disagreeing with someone politically is often perceived as a personal attack because politics have become part of who we are.

These dynamics contribute to the decline of civil discourse. How can we express disagreements civilly? The solution isn’t to avoid sharing disagreements but to detach ourselves from our opinions. Different perspectives are invaluable for improving any work or solving problems. While society may always view disagreements negatively, on an individual level, we can see them as stepping stones to greatness.

Mindfulness and meditation teach us to observe our thoughts objectively. Andy Puddicombe, co-creator of Headspace, suggests visualizing thoughts as clouds passing by on a sunny day. If someone says, “I don’t like that particular cloud,” it’s hard to take it personally. This analogy helps to observe thoughts without letting them define us.

Next, we must be mindful of our ego. Everyone has an ego, and unchecked, it can damage interactions. Before addressing my own ego, my goal in arguments was to change the other person’s mind or prove them wrong. This wasn’t healthy, as it shifted the focus from the true purpose of disagreements: sharing perspectives and understanding how others reach their conclusions. Changing others' beliefs can be a byproduct of good arguments, but it shouldn’t be the primary goal.

Even if you’re right, how you respond matters. The difference between saying “I told you so” and “I understand why you think that” is huge. Criticism should aim to improve others, so there’s no need for belittlement. I’ve never understood the "brutally honest" approach; you can be honest without being brutal. Simon Sinek explains this much better in a short video.

Our culture may always struggle with civil disagreements, and people may be hurtful when sharing their opinions. However, focusing on kindness, empathy, and objectivity can make a significant difference in your life. Treating others better than they treat you is challenging but crucial for personal growth, work relationships, and beyond.

LET'S WORK
TOGETHER

Jul 11, 2024

3min read

The Art of Disagreement

I've made a significant mistake this week. I logged onto Twitter. I know, I know. Who even uses Twitter these days? Spending just thirty minutes on that platform feels like it could drain 20% of your brain cells (I made up this statistic, but it seems plausible). However, I'm not here to bash Twitter today.

Something I've noticed over the years is the prevalence of argumentative behavior on social media. As you scroll through tweets, comments, and live-stream chats, you'll see that many people react aggressively to disagreements. On the other hand, the creative community often responds to criticism more constructively. Perhaps this is because artists are accustomed to critiques and understand that personal attacks are unproductive. This stark contrast made me wonder why disagreements carry such negative connotations in the first place.

Reflecting on my own life, I used to struggle with conflicts more than most. Growing up with anger issues, I found it hard to handle rejection or dissent without lashing out. As I've matured, I've learned to view disagreements as potentially positive. I've also realized that many people struggle with ego, just as I did. Reading Ryan Holiday's "Ego is the Enemy" has been eye-opening. He beautifully explains how our culture fuels self-importance:

"Now more than ever, our culture fans the flames of ego. It’s never been easier to talk, to puff ourselves up. We can brag about our goals to millions of fans and followers—things only rock stars and cult leaders used to have. We can follow and interact with our idols on Twitter, read books and sites, and watch TED Talks, drinking from a fire hose of inspiration and validation like never before."

I believe this contributes to why disagreements are often seen negatively. We tie our thoughts and feelings to our identities. In American politics, for example, there's a sense of tribalism and self-identity. Disagreeing with someone politically is often perceived as a personal attack because politics have become part of who we are.

These dynamics contribute to the decline of civil discourse. How can we express disagreements civilly? The solution isn’t to avoid sharing disagreements but to detach ourselves from our opinions. Different perspectives are invaluable for improving any work or solving problems. While society may always view disagreements negatively, on an individual level, we can see them as stepping stones to greatness.

Mindfulness and meditation teach us to observe our thoughts objectively. Andy Puddicombe, co-creator of Headspace, suggests visualizing thoughts as clouds passing by on a sunny day. If someone says, “I don’t like that particular cloud,” it’s hard to take it personally. This analogy helps to observe thoughts without letting them define us.

Next, we must be mindful of our ego. Everyone has an ego, and unchecked, it can damage interactions. Before addressing my own ego, my goal in arguments was to change the other person’s mind or prove them wrong. This wasn’t healthy, as it shifted the focus from the true purpose of disagreements: sharing perspectives and understanding how others reach their conclusions. Changing others' beliefs can be a byproduct of good arguments, but it shouldn’t be the primary goal.

Even if you’re right, how you respond matters. The difference between saying “I told you so” and “I understand why you think that” is huge. Criticism should aim to improve others, so there’s no need for belittlement. I’ve never understood the "brutally honest" approach; you can be honest without being brutal. Simon Sinek explains this much better in a short video.

Our culture may always struggle with civil disagreements, and people may be hurtful when sharing their opinions. However, focusing on kindness, empathy, and objectivity can make a significant difference in your life. Treating others better than they treat you is challenging but crucial for personal growth, work relationships, and beyond.

LET'S WORK
TOGETHER

Jul 11, 2024

3min read

The Art of Disagreement

I've made a significant mistake this week. I logged onto Twitter. I know, I know. Who even uses Twitter these days? Spending just thirty minutes on that platform feels like it could drain 20% of your brain cells (I made up this statistic, but it seems plausible). However, I'm not here to bash Twitter today.

Something I've noticed over the years is the prevalence of argumentative behavior on social media. As you scroll through tweets, comments, and live-stream chats, you'll see that many people react aggressively to disagreements. On the other hand, the creative community often responds to criticism more constructively. Perhaps this is because artists are accustomed to critiques and understand that personal attacks are unproductive. This stark contrast made me wonder why disagreements carry such negative connotations in the first place.

Reflecting on my own life, I used to struggle with conflicts more than most. Growing up with anger issues, I found it hard to handle rejection or dissent without lashing out. As I've matured, I've learned to view disagreements as potentially positive. I've also realized that many people struggle with ego, just as I did. Reading Ryan Holiday's "Ego is the Enemy" has been eye-opening. He beautifully explains how our culture fuels self-importance:

"Now more than ever, our culture fans the flames of ego. It’s never been easier to talk, to puff ourselves up. We can brag about our goals to millions of fans and followers—things only rock stars and cult leaders used to have. We can follow and interact with our idols on Twitter, read books and sites, and watch TED Talks, drinking from a fire hose of inspiration and validation like never before."

I believe this contributes to why disagreements are often seen negatively. We tie our thoughts and feelings to our identities. In American politics, for example, there's a sense of tribalism and self-identity. Disagreeing with someone politically is often perceived as a personal attack because politics have become part of who we are.

These dynamics contribute to the decline of civil discourse. How can we express disagreements civilly? The solution isn’t to avoid sharing disagreements but to detach ourselves from our opinions. Different perspectives are invaluable for improving any work or solving problems. While society may always view disagreements negatively, on an individual level, we can see them as stepping stones to greatness.

Mindfulness and meditation teach us to observe our thoughts objectively. Andy Puddicombe, co-creator of Headspace, suggests visualizing thoughts as clouds passing by on a sunny day. If someone says, “I don’t like that particular cloud,” it’s hard to take it personally. This analogy helps to observe thoughts without letting them define us.

Next, we must be mindful of our ego. Everyone has an ego, and unchecked, it can damage interactions. Before addressing my own ego, my goal in arguments was to change the other person’s mind or prove them wrong. This wasn’t healthy, as it shifted the focus from the true purpose of disagreements: sharing perspectives and understanding how others reach their conclusions. Changing others' beliefs can be a byproduct of good arguments, but it shouldn’t be the primary goal.

Even if you’re right, how you respond matters. The difference between saying “I told you so” and “I understand why you think that” is huge. Criticism should aim to improve others, so there’s no need for belittlement. I’ve never understood the "brutally honest" approach; you can be honest without being brutal. Simon Sinek explains this much better in a short video.

Our culture may always struggle with civil disagreements, and people may be hurtful when sharing their opinions. However, focusing on kindness, empathy, and objectivity can make a significant difference in your life. Treating others better than they treat you is challenging but crucial for personal growth, work relationships, and beyond.

LET'S WORK
TOGETHER

Jul 11, 2024

3min read

The Art of Disagreement

I've made a significant mistake this week. I logged onto Twitter. I know, I know. Who even uses Twitter these days? Spending just thirty minutes on that platform feels like it could drain 20% of your brain cells (I made up this statistic, but it seems plausible). However, I'm not here to bash Twitter today.

Something I've noticed over the years is the prevalence of argumentative behavior on social media. As you scroll through tweets, comments, and live-stream chats, you'll see that many people react aggressively to disagreements. On the other hand, the creative community often responds to criticism more constructively. Perhaps this is because artists are accustomed to critiques and understand that personal attacks are unproductive. This stark contrast made me wonder why disagreements carry such negative connotations in the first place.

Reflecting on my own life, I used to struggle with conflicts more than most. Growing up with anger issues, I found it hard to handle rejection or dissent without lashing out. As I've matured, I've learned to view disagreements as potentially positive. I've also realized that many people struggle with ego, just as I did. Reading Ryan Holiday's "Ego is the Enemy" has been eye-opening. He beautifully explains how our culture fuels self-importance:

"Now more than ever, our culture fans the flames of ego. It’s never been easier to talk, to puff ourselves up. We can brag about our goals to millions of fans and followers—things only rock stars and cult leaders used to have. We can follow and interact with our idols on Twitter, read books and sites, and watch TED Talks, drinking from a fire hose of inspiration and validation like never before."

I believe this contributes to why disagreements are often seen negatively. We tie our thoughts and feelings to our identities. In American politics, for example, there's a sense of tribalism and self-identity. Disagreeing with someone politically is often perceived as a personal attack because politics have become part of who we are.

These dynamics contribute to the decline of civil discourse. How can we express disagreements civilly? The solution isn’t to avoid sharing disagreements but to detach ourselves from our opinions. Different perspectives are invaluable for improving any work or solving problems. While society may always view disagreements negatively, on an individual level, we can see them as stepping stones to greatness.

Mindfulness and meditation teach us to observe our thoughts objectively. Andy Puddicombe, co-creator of Headspace, suggests visualizing thoughts as clouds passing by on a sunny day. If someone says, “I don’t like that particular cloud,” it’s hard to take it personally. This analogy helps to observe thoughts without letting them define us.

Next, we must be mindful of our ego. Everyone has an ego, and unchecked, it can damage interactions. Before addressing my own ego, my goal in arguments was to change the other person’s mind or prove them wrong. This wasn’t healthy, as it shifted the focus from the true purpose of disagreements: sharing perspectives and understanding how others reach their conclusions. Changing others' beliefs can be a byproduct of good arguments, but it shouldn’t be the primary goal.

Even if you’re right, how you respond matters. The difference between saying “I told you so” and “I understand why you think that” is huge. Criticism should aim to improve others, so there’s no need for belittlement. I’ve never understood the "brutally honest" approach; you can be honest without being brutal. Simon Sinek explains this much better in a short video.

Our culture may always struggle with civil disagreements, and people may be hurtful when sharing their opinions. However, focusing on kindness, empathy, and objectivity can make a significant difference in your life. Treating others better than they treat you is challenging but crucial for personal growth, work relationships, and beyond.

LET'S WORK
TOGETHER

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